Here is a letter that was dropped into my door from a local politician who is up for election to the county council. I was actually reasonably impressed with some elements of the letter.
He signed each letter, or his team did, but they were signed and not printed with a signature. The letter was also personalised to the area of houses we live in. So he had taken the time to listen to what people were saying to him and then he spoke to us about it in his letter. Both nice touches. Although it is a shame that he didnt sign the letter with a blue pen, it would have really stood out.
But then he goes into politician speak, using words that none of use in our day to day lives….he speaks about addressing the matter with urgency, prioritising the matter, renewed energy and determination, Furthermore and please be assured!
Look these are all nice sentiments and I think his letter shows that he cares enough to listen. But why can he not speak to us like a human being in the rest of the letter. This could have been a much stronger letter than it is (and to be fair to him its one of the better ones I have seen in recent times). It baffles me why we turn into robots when we have a pen or keyboard in front of us!
I have spoken about this before, but as non profits we often fall into the trap of speaking to people with words that make sense to us or would have gotten us an A+ for grammer and use of language in school. But it doesnt make sense to the people we are speaking to, most of the time. So try and write how you would speak. Make it feel like you are sitting at the kitchen table with the reader and you are chatting to them.